I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
