Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
