Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
