You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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