If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize
