Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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