Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
