I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
