You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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