There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
