Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
