Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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