About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
