Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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