oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just want to make out with him forever
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
