whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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