I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
