dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
