thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
