Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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