dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
