I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
