my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We need to rekindle our bromance
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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