Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
