the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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