I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
