This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
