you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
