I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Did I show you my penis last night?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
