I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
