You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
