Buhtt sex?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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