I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
