I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
