That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
