If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
