what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
