Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
worst night to have a conscience
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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