I've blown a few things in my day
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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