Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
