everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
