jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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