you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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