I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
