I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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