Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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