please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
