I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
