please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
