omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
