Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
