I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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