whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize