Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
