Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
