I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
