just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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