I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
