we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
