Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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